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Ewok
'Ewok's looked like cute little bears but were in fact vicious little creatures capable of devouring entire stormtrooper battalions. On the other hand, when they were not attempting to rip your guts out, they behaved like annoying little muppets that made you wish the stormtroopers won. Their homeworld, Endor, was relatively unknown to the rest of the galaxy until Battle of Endor there because the Ewoks ate everyone who discovered the planet. History Early history First discovery of Endor The earliest discovery of Endor was at an unknown date, what we do know is that the first "people" to discover the planet were a group of Hutts accompanied by some Rodians and Humans. The second they landed, on what they thought was a paradise for criminals, the Ewoks jumped out of the trees and ate them. According to drawings found in some of Endors caves the Humans tasted pretty good, the Rodians tasted terrible and half of the Ewoks who ate Hutts died the next day. The other half was, according to the drawings, sick for weeks. After this event the Ewoks decided they shouldn't just eat everything that fell out of the sky. The Ewoks started pretending they were cute little bears that didn't eat innocent travelers that visited the planet, they also wanted to make sure they didn't all die because they ate some weird guy that fell out of the sky, so they decided that anything that fell out of the sky would be tasted by three Ewoks before the rest could try the new food. Further discoveries During many years after the first discovery of Endor many more people discovered the planet and thought to be the first travelers to ever visit the planet. They were all welcomed by groups of cute little bears and they thought they had found a paradise. But things soon changed when the Ewoks showed their true intentions, they captured their visitors but didn't eat them. After three Ewoks had tasted the new food, and lived for at least three days after eating the food, the Ewoks prepared a feast and once the preparations were complete they roasted their visitors alive and at them. If, for some reason, one of three Ewoks who tasted the new food died, the visitors were still roasted alive. But they weren't eaten by the Ewoks, the Ewoks would give the roasted deadly visitors to any enemy they could not overpower and eat, these persons would then eat the food and die. Eating stormtroopers When the Empire discovered the planet, the Ewoks did what they always did when someone found them, they pretended they were cute little bears. The Empire was fooled by the clever Ewoks and started building a Death Star above Endor, and they sent many, many stormtroopers to the planet. The Ewoks were waiting for the right moment to start eating people when the Rebel Alliance (and Wormie) found Endor. When Wormie met an Ewok, he fooled by the "cute little bear act" and tried to cuddle with the creature. Unfortunately for him, he did not yet know that Ewoks hated to cuddle, he soon found out the hard way when the Ewok tried to eat him. Eventually the Ewoks and Rebels became friends because the Ewoks thought Leia was HOT. When the Rebels found the Death Stars shield generator and attacked it, the thing was (for some weird reason) located on Endor instead of on the Death Star, the Ewoks realized that their new friends were no match for their new food source. So, they decided to help out and make one big dinner party out of it. Ewok history revealed During one of the many Rebel archaeological studies of ancient Ewok caves that took place after the Battle of Endor, the Rebels found drawings on the cave walls that described every single event in early history of Ewok society. One of the two rebels who managed to evade capture and thus didn't get roasted and eaten by the Ewoks later wrote the book, Ewok history revealed, in which he described in detail what they found in the caves. According to the drawings on the cave walls the Ewoks had always been eating anything and anyone they could find on Endor, but, the Ewoks also had friends on Endor, like the Teek. The Teek were very fast creatures and it was very hard to catch one, they also tasted bad. These are the reason why the Ewoks and the Teek became friends. The Teek were used by the Ewoks as scouts, they spied on travelers that visited Endor. Few travelers ever saw a Teek, because as soon as the Teek had seen a traveler they would rush back to the Ewoks who would then capture, roast and eat the travelers. According to the drawings on the cave walls the Ewoks and Teek became allies two hundred "walls"It is thought that every wall contains one year of Ewok history, but "wall" just sounds more confusing and forces you to read this lame explanation before the first discovery of Endor by people who were not from Endor. Sources *Ewok history revealed Notes and references Category:Creatures Category:Teddy bears